out of the darkness
We are a group of school staff, and the words here represent all of us.
But today, I am speaking only for myself.
I am the founder of ssasv.org, and I, like the rest of us, have had to keep my identity private until now. We all fear retaliation for speaking out—even with tenure. I also had dreams of entering into leadership one day (where there is no more tenure). I got my masters in educational leadership and my administrative credential after all. But I cannot keep my identity private any longer. There are a lot of reasons for this. A big one is that it is impossible to grow this organization in secrecy. But there are others too.
I still do hope to gain a position in leadership one day. I have decided however that if anyone wants to hire me, then they will do so with full knowledge that I support this cause. They will know up front, that I will not rest until Title IX is authentically implemented in every school in our nation.
I am stepping out of the darkness, and putting my name on my very, very hard work.
My name is Trina English.
I am a public school teacher in the bay area, and I got us all together—a group of school staff from around the state—and interviewed them for my masters thesis work. We all combed through each other’s devasting and heart wrenching stories and experiences together—and collectively agreed upon the shared themes found throughout all of them. These narratives, and our findings were distilled into a 240 page thesis, but it could have been much longer. That initial affinity group work was the genesis of this organization.
I also lead my site’s DEI work which employs a student civic engagement approach, and is fully inclusive and intersectional in its reach and scope. Its a whole other ball of wax, and is not in keeping with the canned K-12 equity frameworks out there—at all.
As for THIS work—my gender equity advocacy for K-12 students—my story and experiences advocating for this work at my own sites over the years were not a part of my thesis, because my own identity could not be kept off my own thesis (of course.) And one must have permission from one’s school site if one is doing research for a masters thesis in educational leadership.
My thesis work DID however contain the narratives stemming from the experiences of school staff from many districts—all of whom were kept completely confidential.
The people in SSASV today are not identical to the people who began in the confidential multi-district study back then. Some have left, and others have come on board since the conclusion of my formal academic work for the program. I will never, ever divulge the names of the brave women who came forward with their harrowing stories. The only way you will ever know of them is if THEY decide to come forward.
I will also not direct my public criticism about the rampant sexual harassment abuse happening in our schools at my current or previous districts, much less specific school sites, or specific people in this forum. Don’t ask me to—I won’t. This is the way it has to be, if I hope to stay where I am needed—which is IN the schools, on the ground floor. Not only do I need to keep the trust of my co-workers, but it also doesn’t matter what is happening at any of my work sites. You could go into any school, in any state, and see the same things. It is everywhere. I also, gotta keep working here folks—I HAVE to provide for my family. I cannot go to the public and blow the whistle on my bosses in this forum. When I have something to say to them—I choose a far more direct route. I think one day, if given the chance, I would like SSASV to be my only job. I will know when that feels right, but for now, I need to grow this thing! Stepping out of the darkness, and taking credit for my work is a big step. My goal is to be able to stand with other teachers and school staff when they call on us, and help empower them to demand justice for their students.
That is not to say that I do not try to work on the problem on the ground floor. I DO! I advise a Girl Up Feminist Student Union, and work very, very hard to elevate the work for ALL historically marginalized communities. I speak up often on this issue at my sites.
I am also NOT a one trick pony folks! I am deeply passionate about all social justice based reforms in education—namely the racialized reading opportunity gap. This is an equally shameful and ignored social justice crisis, and is in full sight of everyone, just like the Title IX implementation issue. Wanna read more about it? Read about my blog about the racialized reading opportunity gap.
I am also deeply passionate about addressing all white privilege in education. Among other things, I advocate for trauma informed, culturally responsive behavioral and academic interventions. I was/am on such a steep learning curve on this front. I am still shocked by the level of ignorance that white privilege affords most in education. The only real cure is to fix the profession and the field is to attract and celebrate people of color, because it is impossible to lead work dismantling white privilege as a white person! Hello?! Good grief, the egos of white people in my profession. A big part of this work involves yanking this entire profession out of the dark ages of deeply engrained structural sexism, and make it a desirable profession, capable of lifting someone out of generational poverty. Look, the way I see it this—the things we need to do to be better here for people of color, are really just smart and sustainable practices for EVERYONE. I wish to God that I could make white folks see this.
I am also very blessed to have been able to work with folks in the LGBTQIA+ community. As someone with straight, cisgender privilege, I am a work in progress here too. Title IX protects all genders and sexualities, but the notion that this work is not about gender equity—is ludicrous. Anytime a straight, cisgender boy is targeted, there is always a power imbalance going on. Frequently there is ableism, undocumented status, non-fluent English speaking status, or even just popularity at play. It is always about power. Queer kids and girls are targeted because of the power imbalance in society.
One of the hardest parts of centering student voices in this fight is the DEEP shame associated with this kind of trauma. And queer kids have the HUGE added issue of their gender and/or sexual identity with which to contend when they are victimized. I try and fail to imagine how hard that it is. Rates of victimization, and subsequent suicidality within the LGBTQIA+ community are staggering.
There is also a deep connection between the violence against trans women, and the violence against cisgender women. We share a deep connection with one another, and need to unite. No one else understands our situation, and together, we are powerful! Cisgender women who do not identify as feminist, but think that they support trans women are just dumb. (this is the combo I see in the bay area), but the reverse is equally dumb too: feminists who do not support trans women are not feminists all. Stop sucking already.
My work at my current site also led to the first ever Muslim Student Union, and also to site and district wide recognition of Ramadan and Eid. I can’t take credit for getting that done, but I can say that I started the Inter-union council, got the right people into the right places, and supported their work advocating for our Muslim students. Step up, and pass the mic. I know that I cannot lead the communities which I do not represent. My only job is to highlight them and get them what they need to shine. I challenge everyone in education in the US to work hard on dismantling Christian privilege in our profession. If you think it is not there, think again. It is one of the most prevalent sources of dominant group privilege in K-12 social justice movements (alongside male privilege—geez, you’d think we’d be better on that front—what with all the women in our profession, nope!)
Look, I could go on like this forever. Basically, I am passionate about tossing out just everything out that we currently do in education, and implementing a sustainable, humanizing system which celebrates the wisdom and experience of our most precious resource—our veteran teachers. The structural racism, ableism, and sexism in our current system are such that we sort of just have to throw the whole thing out and start over from scratch. Amanda and I have a 7 part series coming out on that soon. Its a monster of a thing to get right, and we are attempting to discuss what we see as the core reasons behind the teacher shortage—another topic about which I am passionate.
More about me:
I am a survivor of sexual assault, child molestation, stalking, domestic violence, and sexual harassment (as a student in K-12, and as an adult at multiple work places).
I am also a survivor of body image issues and eating disorders, suffer from PTSD, and have been through so, so much therapy to be here today. I am a self identified neuroatypical, and you gotta just trust me on this one—my brain is just NOT wired like most people’s. I am incredibly sensitive, and definitely too smart for my own good.
Fortunately for me, I found a world view and sensibility which encapsulates it all—I am punk through and through. So I need to thank all of the punks of the world out there. We are just another iteration of bohemian intellectuals—you know, the ones the fascists kill off first? Yeah, that’s us.
I also supervised a domestic violence and rape crisis hotline in Stanislaus county before becoming a mother and teacher. In that role, I trained countless advocates on crisis intervention who were working towards their Domestic Violence Advocacy Certification. I also worked with countless women and children, all facing the worst moment in their lives. I learned more than I could possibly even try to explain here, but suffice it to say—I was confronted with the worst of humanity, on a daily basis, for years. You name it, I’ve seen it. Every kind of sadistic thing a man could do to a woman—I’ve not only been witness to it, I’ve been there to offer safety and tools to empower these heroic women to put their broken lives, spirits, and bodies back together.
As I say in our upcoming book—it is extraordinarily rare to have teacher with that kind of background. I am so incredibly well-versed on the intricacies of male privilege, and the structural and systemic ways in which gender based violence is rooted in our society. And I bring this knowledge and experience to K-12 education—making me a unicorn for sure in the field of education.
Indeed, running that shelter for years on end was a lifetime movie-of-the-week, every. damn. day. My experiences in that role humbled me to my core. The women I served and worked alongside—every last one of them—are some of the bravest, most inspiring people I have ever met. I love you all. We had so few victories—and we lost so many. But we chose every day to focus on what was possible, and stayed on as long as our hearts, minds, and bodies would let us do the work.
I am also the wife of the MOST supportive husband who is my BEST friend. He is a soul mate, a co-conspirator, and the best father to our other best friend—our son. Which proves to me what I never lost site of—”there are a lot really great men out there.” (Ani DiFranco). We are a group of three perfect misfits, who make our own rules, love hard, and fiercely defend our values. Everything I am, and everything I have done has been because of their love.
Finally, I want to express my deep love and gratitude for everyone in SSASV and those who participated in the initial affinity group. Hell is other people, except for you all. I hold your stories and experiences close to my heart every day. I do not know how to tell you how much your friendship and sisterhood has meant to me.
We couldn’t find it—so we made it!
So Much Love,
Me
